Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to
sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega,
par mere baap ka bigad jayega.

Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
Both don’t exist.

Getting married is very much like
going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want,
then when you see what the other person has,
you wish you had ordered that.

Oh menu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c
Oh mneu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c
Na paper mainu aanda c, na paper ohnu aanda c.

Ek bar baarish ho rahi thi,
ek aadmi chatri lekar ja raha tha,
chatri ke upar ek keeda aur keedi khade hue thay,
keedi hawa se udd gayi.
Keeda bola, “Mitran di chatri to udd gayi,
ambran te laundi hain udariyan.”

Chuha to haathi: tuhadi umar kinni hai?
Haathi: 1 Saal, te teri?
Chuha: Umar ta meri v 1 saal hi hai,
par saale nashe patte ne mittran di sehat down jehi karti.

Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death,
my feelings 4 u have never changed.
For me, you’ve always been a headache!

An engineering student to his sweeper brother:
I have got degree, I have got knowledge,
I can sit in society. What do you have?
Sweeper: I have the job.

Several women appeared in court,
each accusing the other of the trouble
in the flat where they lived.
The judge called for orderly testimony.
“I’ll hear the oldest first,” he decreed.
The case was closed for lack of evidence.