Wedding wishes that sound like you were there.

What do you write in a wedding card?

Three things: congratulations, one true thing about the couple, and a wish for what comes next. "Congratulations. You two just make sense. Wishing you a long, happy life together" is a complete wedding card. Everything else is optional. The most common mistake is writing about marriage in general, the kind of line that could go in anyone's card, instead of a sentence about these two people.

How much you write depends on how close you are. Family and close friends can write a paragraph, bring in a memory, even make a joke. For a colleague, a neighbour or a friend of the family, two warm sentences are right. It's better to be a little formal than to claim a closeness that isn't there.

What do you write for a sister, brother or cousin?

Something that says what the day means to you, and welcomes the new person. Sibling weddings are emotional in a specific way: someone who's always been in your house is starting a household of their own. Say that, lightly. "You looked so happy today that I forgot to be sad you're leaving" does it without turning the card into a farewell.

Then turn to the new in-law. A line welcoming them into the family, especially if it's a noisy one, is often the part of the card they remember. Parents writing to a son or daughter can say the thing children rarely hear at weddings: that the house will be quieter and they're proud anyway.

What do you write for a colleague's wedding?

Warm, brief and about them, not about work. "Wishing you both every happiness as you begin married life together" is always safe. If your team is friendly, a light joke about leave or the inbox works well on a group card. Don't mention the office, deadlines or how long they'll be away beyond that one joke. For a boss, keep the tone of the first line and skip the joke.

What do you write if you can't attend?

Say you're sorry to miss it, congratulate them, and suggest a way to celebrate later. You don't need to give the reason, and a long explanation makes the message about you. Send it before the wedding day, when it'll actually be read, and send the gift or shagun on time too. If there's a live stream, tell them you'll be watching. It says you made the effort.

What do you write on a shagun envelope?

Keep it to a line and your names. The envelope is usually opened later, often by family, so it's not the place for jokes or long wishes. "A small shagun with big blessings" or "For your first home together, with all our love" is plenty. Write your full names clearly on the envelope so the couple knows who it's from. Shagun amounts traditionally end in a one, like 501 or 1,001, and many wedding envelopes come with the one-rupee coin already attached.

How do you write a blessing, whatever the faith?

Use the words you'd use yourself, and swap them to suit the couple. "May God bless your marriage" becomes "Bhagwan", "Allah" or "Waheguru" easily, and a blessing that names the couple's own faith means more than a generic one. If you're not sure, or the couple come from two traditions, a wish without a name works just as well: "Wishing you a long, healthy and happy married life." Elders' blessings in Hindi or Hinglish use आप.

English, Hinglish or Hindi?

Match the couple and the card. At many Indian weddings, English is the card and Hinglish is the WhatsApp message. "Shaadi mubarak" works in either, and for any couple. A Hindi wish like "आप दोनों का साथ हमेशा बना रहे" (may you always be together) suits elders, formal cards and families who write in Devanagari.

And after the wedding?

The first anniversary comes round faster than anyone expects. The anniversary page has wishes for the couple and for your own marriage, and the love counter works out the milestones from the wedding date, from the 100th day on.